.aspects game

[decomposed]

GAME ENDS 4PM PST 8/19

hit me up on slack (utaoutauhito, display is 森 歌) or plurk (sacae) if you have any questions! probably people won't get very injured if at all but there is some chance of getting mauled to a small or possibly significant degree. careful guys

Comments

[ofobedience]

Yes.

[decomposed]

Then you may begin with that.

[ofobedience]

[bites his lip, looks conflicted]

Causing harm is what I was created for. Knowing that, if I don't cause harm, aren't I doing wrong?

[it seems to be a genuine question]

[decomposed]

[ a thoughtful noise ]

It is true that in some cases it is appropriate, even necessary, to bring suffering to others, especially for those of us who were ourselves meant for the task. But for us as well, just as there are times when ig is called for, there are also times when it is a grave transgression.

[ofobedience]

Under what circumstances does it count as a grave transgression?

[decomposed]

There are many. The circumstances are essential in consideration of whether it is a greater misdeed to perpetrate it or to cower from the responsibility. But in example, when violence is an act of pettiness, or if it is committed in pursuit of vengeance, self-satisfaction, or personal ambition, in estimation it is almost assuredly wrong to do so.

[ofobedience]

[he'll think about that for a moment, silent, and then--]

What if it's something you were ordered to do, you had no real choice in it, and it can be considered your responsibility or your purpose to do exactly that thing, but underneath that you have reasons of your own that mean your actions fit into the categories you mentioned? Such as, being ordered to kill someone, and perhaps you don't want to do it but at the same time you do because you have feelings of jealousy and resentment and for once you'd like to measure up to what you're supposed to be.

[decomposed]

Do you believe that these feelings impact your ability to fulfill your duties as they are given? Are you truly fit for your role?

[ofobedience]

Perhaps not.

[decomposed]

Then it may instead be your obligation to resign your duties, and seek your atonement in a new purpose.

[ofobedience]

[he frowns, looks uncertain]

I don't think resignation was an option. It's just...what I am. Or what I'm supposed to be.

[he shrugs]

Before here, anyway.

[decomposed]

But you are here, now.

[ofobedience]

I suppose so.

[decomposed]

To speak plainly, I do not think well of your mother as a figure of guidance. She has dragged all of you down with her into depravity. If renouncing the role she has given you separates you from her hold as well then I shall only be glad for your soul.

[ofobedience]

What if it's something I can't renounce? Because I was made that way, and it's in me whether I want it there or not, whether I'm good at it or not?

[decomposed]

Are you unable to control your own actions?

[ofobedience]

[it's a surprisingly difficult question. his brows pull together in a frown]

I don't know. I...recently, I did something. I tried not to at first, but then something just snapped inside me and I did it anyway. I liked doing it, at the time...

[holding the torn off wing in his hand teeth bloodied and the laughter pouring out of him, he can still hear it. thinking about it has the thing inside his Spine panting and gnashing and whispering yesyesyes]

Is that a sin, do you think?

[decomposed]

It is a sin. And whether or not it is clearly your will, you are nonetheless responsible for what you have done. But you are not beyond forgiveness. You must learn to control that part of you, and atone for your actions.

[ofobedience]

[he's not sure what to make of that. a large part of him agrees, the part that feels like what he ought to have been, what he was, before the memories came back (is that accurate? he doesn't know), but then there's the other, growing, part that thinks the wrong in him comes from his inability to be the unflinching killing machine he'd been created to be.

in the end he lets out a breath, keeps these thoughts to himself. there's still so much of himself missing, after all. what does he know?]

Who decides that? Who's forgiveness am I looking for?

[decomposed]

The forgiveness of the Lord, as well as yourself.

[ofobedience]

I don't think I'm interested in what any Lord thinks about me.

[decomposed]

That is fine as well. The law is upheld not merely to please Him, but to maintain order and offer peace to His people.

[ofobedience]

And I'm not one of those, anyway. I don't think. Being a synthetic life form.

[decomposed]

So you say, but you possess a soul nonetheless. You are even if not made by His hand surely a person whose life and actions must be considered as any other's.

[ofobedience]

[it's an odd thing, realising this to be a true statement, that he must have a soul in order to be here along with everyone else. it's something to think about, perhaps-- accountability, who he's accountable to and whether it matters at all. something he'll be thinking on for a good while after this, perhaps]

I wonder.